They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
