On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
