I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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