I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
