just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
