Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I've blown a few things in my day
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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