Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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