There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
