Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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