Me too!
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize