I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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