the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
