I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
