id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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