He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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