then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
