She's JV to your varsity
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
