I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize