btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
