I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
