he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I love having hate sex.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
