Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
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You. Win. At. Life.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize