I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
