It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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