nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
