WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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