just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
