He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
