Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
