Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
