you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
how drunk are you?
Several
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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