You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
there was a trapeze. enough said
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize