She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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