Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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