Porn is love you can see.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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