i jhust puked up my retainher.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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