Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Randomize
