Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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