I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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