there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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