your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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