I want to walk on stilts...naked
Welp...herpes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
