i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
