We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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