Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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