like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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