he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
