know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
