I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
