do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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