yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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