you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
