if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
