So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize