i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
