I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
