i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
