so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
