I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
