He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
