Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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