omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize