If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize