um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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